Bad Habit (Sanji x Sad!Reader)

“You’re such an idiot” You scowled, laying tangled with a certain someone. The certain someone who cooks the food for the Straw Hats, and the fire in your heart. It was a cool night, and you laid on the soft grass of the Sunny’s deck. All the other crew members were sleeping, probably curled nice and warm in their beds, except for you and a certain someone.

“An idiot for you~” His voice quietly cooed, sending a shiver down your spine. Strong arms wrapped around your blanket covered body. His facial haired chin resting on the top of your head. The small lit candle silently flickered across from you, as the moon was rising ever so slowly.


“You’re so foolish” You sternly hissed, eyebrows furrowed.

“Foolish for you~” He kept his answers persistent and sugar coated.

“You’re so…” you thought of another insult to spit. “Naive” The word quietly left your lips. Sanji only tightened his embrace around you, letting your nose nuzzle deeper into his neck. Your hot breath danced on his exposed collarbones, protective arms spreading warmth throughout your torso.

“Naive for you~” Sanji replied, even softer.

“Sanji, why can’t you let me talk to myself” You inhaled deeply. The aroma of red wine, smoke and fresh grass filling your senses.

“Because _______-chwan, you speak such harsh words. Wouldn’t it be better to let it out on someone else?” You cracked the slightest smile, looking up into the love cook’s sincere eyes. Your lips pursed into a straight line quickly after.

“But thats mean, Sanji” You breathed.

“But better than bottling it up, and releasing it all onto yourself” His deep voice rang through your ears. Your eyes started watering without permission, and a frown broke onto your features. Before the first tear could fall, the chef’s thumb grazed under your eyes, your cheeks, your chin, and your lips. Sanji’s face was only inches away from your own, his dark orbs lost in the (eye color) one’s across from him. Before he could close the distance, you turned away. His hot breath brushed against your cheek. Sanji’s curled brow slightly furrowed, but your face kept a cold demeanor staring into the distance.

“I can’t” Was all you answered. It was like Sanji understood how you felt in those two words. He was no longer cuddled around your body, but at a distance away from you, giving you space to breath. A silent flick was heard, and a flame lit the slim cigarette hanging from the cook’s mouth. You slowly monitored his every action. The way his eyes focused on the moonlight in the distance, how his elbow casually rested on his knee, and how the large puff of smoke that left his lips disintegrated into the air.

“I know. You’re not that type of person” Sanji spoke, looking at your moonlit features. You could see a charming grin adorning his face, a light chuckle leaving his mouth. A meager smile spread on your lips. This reminded you of a scene when you first joined the straw hats, making all the memories flood back into your mind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Stupid” You laid on the grass of the Thousand Sunny, moon illuminating high in the sky. It started to become a habit, waking near midnight and talking to yourself outside. It was the only time you had alone from everyone else. You ran from home, from the people you used to label family and friends, and was able join the Straw Hats by the very insistent captain. Before joining the crew, everything at home started spiraling downwards, from broken relationships to glasses shattering at midnight. That was when you concluded that nothing worth living for existed. Trust, forgiveness, and love were all words that rolled off the tongues of ignorant hopefuls, ignoring the harsh reality of humanity. “Moron” The words kept piling atop of each other, originating from your own mouth. But why were you saying such words to yourself? Because you believed every single lie you were told. You believed in the trust of your friends, the forgiveness of your siblings, and the love of your parents. “Naive-”
You didn’t notice someone’s figure standing on the balcony of the Sunny, so you had no intentions of hiding anything from the night sky. Tears started streaming down your face like waterfalls, landing into the grass. When you noticed the flickering of a lighter and a long puff of smoke, your hands hurriedly covered your face. The emotion left no trace on your moonlit features in the matter of seconds, something you taught yourself to do while growing up.

“And who's out here crying alone?” Sanji voiced, his easy tone sending an alarming feeling to your head. You sat there silenced, not moving one inch. Sanji already knew it was you, hearing your voice from the beginning, whispering profanities into the wind. “You’ll catch a cold” The cook said, slowly approaching your body. Your arms wrapped tight around your legs, eyes hidden in the sleeves of your night shirt,

“It’s okay. I don’t-” Before you could finish, a blanket was wrapped around your frame. Confusion filled your thoughts. The love cook wasn’t bleeding by the nose, or seeing hearts in your presence. The first time you met, that happened a bunch of times, to you and many other women. Your (eye color) eyes slowly peered above your crossed arms, just to catch a glimpse of his expression. He wasn’t even looking at you. That was when you saw him slowly sit down beside your placement, his pupils focusing steadily on the distance. You became uncomfortable, not sure of the man’s intentions.

“Look, I know you probably had some horrible things happen in the past, we've all been through one, but I swear-” Sanji turned his head to look directly into your peering eyes. “you can trust us. We’re nakama now-”


“No” the simple answer left your lips. “I don’t believe in trust” You monotonously whispered,  features hardening. It didn’t feel like you uttered those words, even when you heard them leave your own mouth. An image of your friends and family flashed into your eyes, causing an anger to stir. Your bitter expression surprised Sanji, leaving an atmosphere of uncomfortable silence. Before you could take back those words, the love cook replied something that baffled you.

“You’ve been hurt” His face showed sadness. “More than once?”

“Shut up.” You muttered quietly, to no particular person. You flinched as his hand moved a stray hair from your face, the warmth of his fingertips grazing your cheek. A deep chuckled echoed from Sanji’s grin. His smile dimmed, leaving a sincere look in his eyes.

“Do you need to get something off your chest?” Sanji whispered, scooting closer to your blanket wrapped body. “I want to help-”

“It’s okay. None of it concerns you”

“But it does” The chief replied smoothly, “Anything that is causing such a beautiful woman pain will always concern me” You became flustered and blushed at his compliment.

“But...I-I don’t-”

“You’re not the type of person to insult any other human being, so why say it to yourself?” Sanji’s question hit a hard spot in your chest. A single tear rolled down your cheek, more soon following after.

“Cause I deserve it” You silently sobbed, hands covering your eyes. Quiet hyperventilating racked from your body, the attempt to subdue the sound slowly failing. A sudden warmth spread around your shivering form, as strong arms encircled your blanket covered body. The smell of smoke and wine surrounded your senses.

“You don’t deserve this pain, _______-chan” The cook said, rubbing circles on your back. “Believe me.”

After that night, Sanji would always visit you during your bad habit nights, as what he would call it. He would sometimes bring candles, blankets, and snacks. Countering every word you said with something different. After the first few months, your nightly outdoor appearances started limiting, but you still went outside sometimes to lie on the Sunny’s grass and indulge in your bad habit again. But a certain someone would always be there to accompany you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
You could say that the relationship between you and the cook started growing rapidly. Night by night would turn into something different. Self slanders would become stories, stories of childhood, pasts and thoughts. Sanji started learning everything about you, before the crew could even see a glimpse of your past.
It was like the light of life was restored back into your view. You would smile more, laugh more and talk more, something you lacked when you first joined your nakamas. It was like all of the bad feelings you mustered together disappeared, but they didn't. You only bottled them up and pushed them aside. And it still haunted you. Thats why on this particular night, you sat on the grass of the sunny, blanket hugging your body, and a certain someone by your side.

“You know me too well, don’t you?” The smallest smile on your lips, head tilting towards the distanced man. It was you who scooted closer to the love cook.

“I guess so” Sanji chuckled, arm snaking around your shoulders, pulling you closer. He could see you smiling, making him spread a wide grin as well. His cigarette dropped, a black shoe stomping out the lit bud. Sanji could see the drowsiness drooping your eyes, so he placed his forehead on yours. Noses touching and breath exchanging. The smoke from his breathing was easily smelt, a scent you got used to from the cook’s addiction . For the next minute you just sat there, in that position and eyes fully closed. His presence relaxed your every muscle.

“I...love you” You breathed the words you never expected to ever say. Before opening your eyes, a gentle pair of lips met yours, leaving the lingering sensation too quickly. You blinked your eyes open, meeting a happily beaming Sanji.

“Lets go to sleep” The heart fluttered man lifted your limp and tired body bridal style, to the kitchen’s long sofa. The only area you and Sanji could spend together in peace and quiet, with no other crew member distractions. Well, until daytime that is. Even though it’s a tight fit, you didn’t mind the close proximity. The closer you were to Sanji, the easier for you to sleep. You looked like two college kids who recently found pure love in each other, cuddled closely on the long green sofa. Your eyes slowly fluttered closed, the silent sound of your breathing heard from your figure. A small smile spread across Sanji’s lips, his words quiet and gentle.

“I love you too” He left a tender kiss on your forehead.